It HAPPENED. Yep right there in the middle of my kitchen. It was Wednesday April 24. I was holding my 1 week old newborn while my older two boys ages 4 and 6 were outside playing. My husband had a driveway full of mulch delivered so he was outside refreshing the landscape and there I was. It hit me. I was a new momma again and the tears started flowing. The good thing is they were happy tears. Our baby boy had been born healthy, our older two were outside playing, well let’s be honest, more fighting then playing, but outside none the less. My hubby had taken some time off of work and I was in the kitchen rocking our sweet babe. Why the tears then? I said they were happy tears and that they were but with the happy tears came the sacrifice of THE HOUSE! I know all new parents, heck any one with kids can relate to what I am about to share.
The house was a disaster. I think tornado-ridden towns probably looked better then my house at that point. I couldn’t even see what color the granite was on the kitchen counter. I think we have a couch under all the laundry and yes I may have more clothes on the chair in my bedroom then actually hanging in the closet. Hangers? Who needs them when you have a perfectly good chair in your room that holds clean laundry just the same? I digress… Anyways. You get it the house was a mess. That is the reason for the tears. Amongst the mess was the beautiful life we had created. Within these 4 walls that we call home there is so much love but sometimes we get caught up in the mess.
So it hit me and I cried, and I mean ugly cried. It is kind of funny to sit here and type this now because it has only been 6 weeks since I wanted to type this #thisismotherhood #lifewiththreekids #whenIhavefreetimeIgotothebathroom #onedayIwillfinishatask. Every time I wanted to sit down and prepare this post, one of the “blessings” got in the way. The baby needed to be fed, I had to play referee to the older boys or just plain needed to spend time with them while the baby was sleeping. You see while I love all of these things, I needed to work on a balance. So today while the baby was sleeping I have balanced our checkbook, ordered birth announcements (finally), loaded the dishwasher, played basketball and baseball outside with the boys (thank goodness for baby monitors) and am now sitting down to get this done. Oh the joys of multitasking at its finest.
Life is all about balance. It is never easy and not always fun to figure out where you need to be spending your time verses where you WANT to spend your time. I have goals and dreams and yes some of them will have to wait. The tradeoff is I get to raise three beautiful boys who hopefully will one day realize how important they are to me. As moms we love our children so much and want the world for them. We often feel guilty am I spending enough time with them? Do I spend too much time with them? Should I go to Girl’s Night Out? Should I nap when the baby is or do laundry? The struggle is real! Not all of the blessings in our life are neat and tidy! I have definitely learned this in the past 7 weeks. I have learned to let go of the order that I used to once feel the house needs to have. Although I do try and clean off the counter once a week because that is what makes my hubby happy. It’s the simple things. My husband and I often joke that he would much rather have the counter cleaned off then any gift I could buy. 🙂 Side note, if you don’t know your spouses love language, I highly recommend you figure it out!
In this season of parenting it is so true that the days are long but the years are short. The days are especially long when it is summer vacation and kids are home (I am only kidding, kind of!)
My husband and I attended A Weekend to Remember back in March and I remember the couple who led it saying “raise kids, you can fill in the holes later” and that totally stuck with me. The holes in the grass, the walls or whatever can be fixed later. Now is the time for play and making memories. So while most days are still a work in progress, I am trying to just let them be little. We make messes, we throw water balloons and play with squirt guns, we burn holes in the shoes (thanks plasma cars) and holes in sweat pants but I know I won’t remember all of that some day, what I will remember is the fun we had, the laughs we shared, the games that were played, the late nights out with neighbors and love that was given each and every day. Yes, parenting is messy, they don’t give you a manual, but it is our job soak up these blessings and pour into them each day. The house will be a mess, more days than not, and when you can find your kitchen counter, celebrate that as a win!
So I leave you with this as I hear the baby waking up and the boys want a snack. What will you want your kids to remember when they are graduating from high school, or when they are raising their own children. How clean the house was, or how much fun they had with mom in dad in the pillow fort or playing an intense air hockey tournament? Sometimes the best blessings in our life are the messy blessings.
Until next time may you find joy in your journey!
Under the Clutter 