Ok. Let’s stop right there. Before people get confused and wonder if this post is about my husband, let me clarify, it is NOT. Nor is it about any other guy that I dated. Whew, so if you are an ex reading this, don’t worry, I am not about to put you on blast. This post is far more serious. It is about a man who even when I am at my absolute worst, still is there for me and loves me unconditionally. Still think this is about my husband. Answer is still no.
Let me introduce you to this guy I know…Jesus! I am sure that this post already may have turned some of you off, and that is ok. But I am truly serious. Over the years as I have grown as a Christian there is one area that I still struggle with…motherhood. No matter how much I thought I was prepared for this role, when I actually became a mom was more then life-changing. I no longer was responsible for just myself. I had a little human who was a part of my life and had grown into their very existence from inside of me. Man, talk about pressure. Now I know no day is perfect and no day ever will be. What I do know is that when I start to question my role as a mom if I turn those fears and anxieties over to Christ it helps bring me back to center. I don’t have to be a perfect mother, let’s face it, no matter how many Pinterest parties I plan or stellar costumes I put together, PERFECTION just isn’t in the cards. What I can be is a mom who loves Jesus and is doing her best to be a good mom. What I often forget is that Jesus died on the cross for all of my sins. Let me repeat ALL of my sins. The price has been paid. He already knows that I am not perfect and HE doesn’t expect me to be. There is no pressure. The only pressure is that which we inflict upon ourselves. As a mom, I have never felt more closer to Jesus. I pray daily that HE be with my children when I cannot be with them, that they know who He is and that He will always be with them. Psalm 127:3 states that Children are a gift from the Lord. They are a reward from Him. Once I truly realized and embraced this I felt my attitude change.
There are so many things that we want to pass on to our children, show them places from our background, give them the best childhood experiences etc, etc. What we often forget as Christians is that one of the best things we can give them is Jesus. Talk about Jesus, share bible stories, pray with them and encourage them as they begin their faith walk. One thing that I do remember as a young kid was going to church with my family. After church we had breakfast at my Nana and Pa’s. It was a pretty regular occurrence. Now I can’t say that I remember much from my church experience as a kid and that is largely because we didn’t have a children’s ministry so I just had to sit up with the adults and listen to the sermon. If I am honest, most of it went over my head. I went to Wednesday night CCD and went through the routine of “church”. Now I am not blaming or shaming anyone, but now that I am older and actually have a relationship with Jesus, I pray that my children have relationship with HIM too and not just because I tell them too. As a mom of two rough and tumble, sensitive at times and ornery little boys, nothing warms my heart more then when they come home and talk about a bible story they learned at church or hear christian music come on the radio and start singing the words! Those are the days that I stop and think, “they are getting it”. Their little hearts are opening up and embracing Jesus. Just today my littlest and I were talking about Heaven. In the last few months there has been talk of death from pets to people indirectly involved in our life. His little voice got so high and he said, “their dog went to doggy heaven, that’s where Bella-boo-boo went. That’s where God is and Jesus too, but Jesus is also in our hearts.” I almost had to pull the car over. My momma heart was so full!!! These little bits of joy help me make it through when the tough days rear its ugly head. While I could talk all day about little kids and their love for Jesus that is not the main point.
As a woman, wife, mom, friend, sister, whatever role(s) you fill each day, there is always someone who is there for you no matter what. The best thing is that He is even closer then the cliche “just a phone call away”. Jesus is there 24/7 all you have to do is talk. No phone calls necessary, although if you want to use your phone so you don’t look like you are talking to yourself, feel free, no judgement. In all seriousness though, when times are tough and you may not feel like sharing things with friends or family or your normal go to gal, try giving it to God. Over the last few weeks our family has had a constant need for prayer, wether for health, jobs, general sanity and peace. I am beginning to wonder how I ever did it without talking to God. I mean yea, I have been praying since I was a little girl, but I don’t think I actually had conversations with God. I mean real, specific, heart to heart, deep level conversations. The sense of peace, the encouragement and overall calm feelings this generates is something I have never experienced before. To some this may all sound a little hokey and I get it. I probably would have too if this was 5-10 years ago. I guess all I am saying is if you are in a place right now where you could use an extra, non-judgmental ear, give it a try. What’s the worst that could happen? You may not “hear” anything at first, but the key is when God answers back, it may not actually be a voice, it could be a sign, or running into someone you know, or just feeling “lighter”. The hardest part is to not get to wrapped up in the waiting for God to respond. He has his own time. I can truly attest to this! So have a chat, and then wait, but don’t wait stagnantly. I hope this makes sense. In the end, we are all just doing are best and while some days are going to be better then others just know that HE is for you! HE will always be there for you, HE has already paid the price, so give it a shot. You may just be surprised what is waiting for you around the corner…
until next time, may you have find joy in your journey!
Under the Clutter 